Skip to content

E.J. LeRoy

It Was a Bus, But Whatever

E.J. LeRoy

On a Portland day without rain
Two billy goats boarded a train
While looking for views
They made national news
The reaction has just been insane

The Cutest Little Outlaw in the West

E.J. LeRoy

Wanted

One Eastern cottontail
Last seen destroying plants
In neighborhood yards

Also wanted: one stewpot


E.J. LeRoy is a Pushcart Prize-nominated writer with a forthcoming mpreg novella. Curious? Visit http://ejleroy.weebly.com.

An Ode to OTA TV

E.J. LeRoy

I watch all my TV over the air

I will not spend my money on streaming

Binging network programs without a care

Free films from the library I’m screening

Spending for cable I never would dare

Those hefty bills would just set me screaming

On financial matters I will not bend

An indoor antenna’s a girl’s best friend


E.J. LeRoy is a Pushcart Prize-nominated writer with a forthcoming mpreg novella. Curious? Visit http://ejleroy.weebly.com.

Noon in the Desert

E.J. LEROY

They say conspiracy theory radio talk shows only play at night. They’re wrong.

Sometimes midday you can hear them. If you drive out of the city into the middle of nowhere. Just listen.

Park and play the radio just right, and you might hear the tales of lizard zombies that crawl out of the Earth’s core following a meteor storm. I almost saw one once; a lizard zombie, I mean.

I know the greys are real. Sometimes, I hear them through the fillings in my teeth, always at high noon. At night, they taunt me with their dreaded Hum.

I use the radio in my old truck and a prepaid burner phone, never a smartphone. You never know who might be listening. But I suspect it’s an organization with jumbled letters. The kind of letters that correspond to numbers that add up to evil.

The people must be warned. Don’t they know the End Times are coming?

I give them a call

“Hello, Friend! You’re on the air!”

And I tell the truth


E.J. LeRoy is a Pushcart Prize-nominated writer with a forthcoming mpreg novella. Curious? Visit http://ejleroy.weebly.com.

Literary Aids

E.J. LEROY

Poets and writers each have their vices
Whether it’s drugs, arthouse movies, or tea
How they all swear by their own devices
To create time-honored works for a fee
The faint promise of fame that entices
Against all work ethics’ stodgy decrees
The dance between professional and fun
Candy in pill bottles? That’s a new one


E.J. LeRoy is a Pushcart Prize-nominated writer with a forthcoming mpreg novella. Curious? Visit http://ejleroy.weebly.com.

Travel Journal Entry #3

E.J. LEROY

A plastic bottle
Remnant of humanity
Universal thread

Odd thoughts while writing this travel journal entry. Faces and feet pass in a blur in front of arches and mosaics. Everyone talks about the architecture or cuisine while traveling, maybe the language and national dress. But there’s a plastic bottle in the road, a universal sign of both littering and global capitalism. In a flash, I see the commonality of all mankind, not through family, friendship, or love, but litter. The familiar packaging, the international brand name—how can anyone fight when we share the same water and imbibe from the same companies?


E.J. LeRoy is a Pushcart Prize-nominated writer with a forthcoming mpreg novella. Curious? Visit http://ejleroy.weebly.com.

Banana Phones Are the Smartest Phones

E.J. LEROY

Hello, I’m not at home
Please leave a message
With the banana phone

What’s that you say?
No answering machine
Good, now go away

You see, I’ve cut all obnoxious ties
To asinine jokes, doomscrolling,
Petty political stunts, and lies

Until I replaced my smartphone
I had no idea how much time could fly
Now I do, thanks to my banana phone

Smooth yellow crescent on my wall
With no irritating texts, pings, or calls
You’re the least annoying phone of all

So, if my number you cannot reach
That’s just too bad
Tell it to the banana—beep!


E.J. LeRoy is a Pushcart Prize-nominated writer with a forthcoming mpreg novella. Curious? Visit http://ejleroy.weebly.com.

Incident at the Interactive Modern Art Museum

E.J. LEROY

It was bad weather for an exhibit
With ominous clouds that conquered the air
And the gallery seemed to inhibit
Those colors destined to drive out despair
The sign said, “Touch, we will not prohibit”
So, my father plopped himself in a chair
At the window, in a manner most crass
He fell asleep with his foot on the glass!

E.J. LeRoy is a Pushcart Prize-nominated writer with a forthcoming mpreg novella. Curious? Visit http://ejleroy.weebly.com