E. Florian Gludovacz
I remember being small and ambulatory, as I was finding my way in the world. But that was before. Then came a time when I felt ready for change and I discovered a safe place, a warm and soft haven, a refuge where I could rest undisturbed. I slept and changed, grew and metamorphosed into my new, wonderful shape. Now I am almost ready to face the world again. Soon, it will be my time and I’ll venture forth once more, renewed and reborn into warm sunlight. I’ll emerge into the world in triumph, bursting through my human host’s abdomen.
Francis adjusted his VR goggles and loaded the boss fight of “Brain+Crash” in hard mode. The reviews had piqued his interest, calling it the most extreme game of the year.
“The sudden death feature makes this game stand out!”
“Unforgettable!”
“A once in a lifetime experience!”
He wasn’t a proficient gamer, but he really wanted to try it. The game started and he found himself in the combat area. Before he could react, the final boss crushed him to death.
Flexible steel filaments shot from the VR goggles, punched through his skull’s orbital fissure and into his brain.
Sudden death!
Florian writes stories, likes cheese, and is a friend to dogs and pandas everywhere. @ndbag.bsky.social
“Welcome to Pete’s Pet Palace. How may I help you?” “It’s about this bird I bought last week. It is dead!” “Really? Are you certain?” “Of course. Look! It’s as dead as a doornail.” “It does look rather dead, doesn’t it? Did you follow the care instructions that came with it?” “Yes, I fed and watered it, made sure it got enough exercise…” “Did you read the last page?” “No?” “The brochure’s formatting is a bit weird, but it says right here: In case of death, please light the bird on fire to restore your phoenix to its former state.”
Florian writes stories, likes cheese, and is a friend to dogs and pandas everywhere. @ndbag.bsky.social
“Booh!” yelled the ghost, jumping out at me.
“Booh, yourself,” I replied.
“You are an intruder in my home. I may be dead, but that doesn’t mean I’ll willingly leave this house.”
“Suit yourself,” I shrugged. “I bought this place fair and square and I’m not going anywhere.”
“That’s a bad decision. I swore to haunt this house and haunt it I will. And I’ll haunt you as long as you stay.”
“Whatever,” I said. “I’m haunted by my bad decisions, my regrets, my insecurities, and my fear of the future. I doubt you can do anything worse to me.”
Florian writes long and short stories, likes cheese, and is a friend to dogs and pandas everywhere. @ndbag.bsky.social
Dear High Commander,
The journey to the Dark Lord’s lands is long and arduous and our quest is far from over. We have been sneaking along back roads, battling goblins and orcs at every turn while being chased by the Lord’s minions and dark spirits. We are cold, hungry, and oh so weary. Our mode of travel seemed like a good idea at the time, but it has taken a toll on our health and morale.
As far as we are concerned, our mission has failed. We recommend that our backup teams take the train instead.
Best regards,
The Fellowship
Florian writes long and short stories, likes cheese, and is a friend to dogs and pandas everywhere. @ndbag.bsky.social
They say that in space nobody can hear you scream. The endless void and its hostile vacuum are not welcoming to human life. I check my helmet a final time and press the button that engages the air lock. I peer through the porthole, gazing at the cold blackness and the brilliant shining stars. There is no twinkle to them without an atmosphere to refract the light.
The lock cycle completes depressurisation and the door slides back. I step outside and float in a lazy spin. I joyously yell me lungs out, because in space, nobody can hear me scream.
Florian writes long and short stories, likes cheese, and is a friend to dogs and pandas everywhere. @ndbag.bsky.social
“Where do you think you are going, pray tell?” asked Puck peevishly.
“I’m done and I’m leaving the fairy mound,” the young elf replied.
“You can’t leave! You’re an elf and you belong here, in the world of fairies!”
“I’m done dancing, singing, and cavorting! And I hate magic, too! I don’t want to participate in your antics any longer and there’s nothing you can do about it!”she snapped pugnaciously.
“But, what are you going to do? Where will you go?”
“I will make something of myself! I’ll live in the human world and I’m going to be a barista!
I swear, I am going to win the competition this year after having been runner-up in the Annual Cannibal Cook-off Competition three years running.
Admittedly, the booth to my left has some delicious chick tenders. Those women walking in to be butchered looked very succulent and juicy.
The cooks to my right have some literal baby-back ribs on offer. Those are always a favourite with the judges.
But I have a special dish this year. My shanks are smoked with applewood before braising. And they are very unique and absolutely limited long pig, because I am cooking my own legs!