Advanced Pet Care

“Welcome to Pete’s Pet Palace. How may I help you?” “It’s about this bird I bought last week. It is dead!” “Really? Are you certain?” “Of course. Look! It’s as dead as a doornail.” “It does look rather dead, doesn’t it? Did you follow the care instructions that came with it?” “Yes, I fed and watered it, made sure it got enough exercise…” “Did you read the last page?” “No?” “The brochure’s formatting is a bit weird, but it says right here: In case of death, please light the bird on fire to restore your phoenix to its former state.”

Florian writes stories, likes cheese, and is a friend to dogs and pandas everywhere. @ndbag.bsky.social