Claudia Wysocky
i chew gum to force myself to not eat.
i wrap my tongue around the taffy.
i feel my belly empty and rumbling. i remember
the times i have eaten too much, my stomach
expanding, and i have been forced to vomit.
i am a child, i think. i am a child who has
been neglected. i am a child who has been beaten.
i am a child who has been taught to hate
myself for eating. i am a child who has
been taught to hate myself for being neglected.
i do not hate myself. i love myself. but i cannot
love myself when i am so hungry. how can i
love myself if i am never full?
but i do not know
what love is.
—Claudia Wyscoky
who
.........are
.........you
.........really
a question
.........of
.........merely
an answer
.........or
.........a
.........game
when I wake
.........I
.........face
.........it
the night
.........shifts
.........into
.........day
the dream
.........fades
.........and
.........I
.........can’t
.........remember
.........what
.........happened
there was
.........a
.........man
.........in
.........a
.........mask
a
.........forest
.........made
.........of
.........spiderwebs
and
.........a
.........woman
.........wit
.........no
.........mouth
she
.........smiled
.........and
.........I
.........was
.........jealous
In dreams
.........we
.........are
.........free
to be
.........anything
.........we
.........want
but waking
.........is
.........a
.........different
.........story
.........altogether