Child

i chew gum to force myself to not eat.

i wrap my tongue around the taffy.

i feel my belly empty and rumbling. i remember

the times i have eaten too much, my stomach

expanding, and i have been forced to vomit.

i am a child, i think. i am a child who has

been neglected. i am a child who has been beaten.

i am a child who has been taught to hate

myself for eating. i am a child who has

been taught to hate myself for being neglected.

i do not hate myself. i love myself. but i cannot

love myself when i am so hungry. how can i

love myself if i am never full?

but i do not know

what love is.

—Claudia Wyscoky