Warning: There Are No Paintings in the Museum
Elle Burnett
Lucas Sampson
The Oeil
2125.001.1a-z
Glass & metal
On loan from the Center for Correct Thought
The American Museum of Art and Design is proud to debut our only exhibit. The Oeil is a 10-foot-tall monolith dedicated to restoring sanity to our museum sector.
The Oeil uses revolutionary facial diagnostic technology to read the expression of the viewer, and run it against their algorithm recommendations from the past 30 days. The Oeil tracks changes in facial expressions, and adjusts accordingly. With these revolutionary changes, you never need to feel a moment of boredom again.
For example, if you feel joy, the Oeil will take inspiration from a cherished memory, and allow you to immerse yourself in the experience. If you feel sad, the Oeil will generate content based on your personalized serotonin algorithm. If you feel inquisitive, the Oeil will pull from the list of approved art and literature, and place your favorite characters in new and exciting situations. Think about the Mona Lisa with a fantastic new smile!
If you feel discontent, we have already notified the proper authorities.
Lucas Sampson believes that good art lies in the perspective of the morally just, and seeks to share these corrected thoughts with all eligible visitors. On behalf of all members of the American Museum of Art, we are proud to debut the last, and only, piece of art you will ever need to see.
So, look up, and enjoy the best we have to offer.
Elle Burnett is a writer and historian, interested in the intersections between place, social memory, and the layers of asbestos between them.
Cyborg
Brett Abrahamsen
There were one trillion homo cyborgs – which descended from the doomed ape homo sapiens – and all of them experienced different realities. One might see a void, for instance. The other, a wall. Another would see trees. None of these things were actually there. There was only one homo cyborg who saw reality as it truly was: a planet with billions of homo cyborg inhabitants. The homo cyborg attempted to communicate, but it was useless: no one could perceive him, despite the 396 senses present in the Universe. Finally he looked for a gun – thousands of them were littered across the barren Earth – and put it to his head.
The author has sold dozens of works to numerous publications. He resides in Saratoga Springs, NY
Cinders
Alethea Paul
Step-mother said I’d never leave. That I’d never see a foreign kingdom, the sea, or snow fall. But now I watch flakes float from the dusking sky, catch one, and taste freedom on my tongue.
I was forced to clean. The house, the hearth by candlelight. Wasting no coals for myself.
Thrill shivers through me.
The night waxes, while incandescent hues paint the clouds, mirroring below.
Did you know revenge burns cold?
Yes, call me Cinder. Tonight the flames rise, and your ashen flakes fall. I’ve cleansed you from this world and taste the embers that were once your skin.
Alethea Paul writes speculative flash fiction and dabbles, or drabbles, in literary. Find her @aletheapaul.bsky.social.
How to Save a Witch
Tatiana Shokhan
Anke scurried to the stake when the soldiers left, allowing the charred bones to be stolen for amulets. Nobody was interested in another superstitious whats-her-name; she, without looking, groped around in the cooled coals and, burning herself, found by touch a single hot ember.
Found, put it in her mouth, then filled her palms full of coal chips and hastened away from the square. Unseen in the dark alley, she squeezed her palms together and blew into them.
And then — as promised — the blackness in her hand grew alive, and a kitten, yawning, opened its eyes.
Green, like Auntie had.
A short story author, currently residing in Lithuania.
Advanced Pet Care
E. Florian Gludovacz
“Welcome to Pete’s Pet Palace. How may I help you?” “It’s about this bird I bought last week. It is dead!” “Really? Are you certain?” “Of course. Look! It’s as dead as a doornail.” “It does look rather dead, doesn’t it? Did you follow the care instructions that came with it?” “Yes, I fed and watered it, made sure it got enough exercise…” “Did you read the last page?” “No?” “The brochure’s formatting is a bit weird, but it says right here: In case of death, please light the bird on fire to restore your phoenix to its former state.”
Florian writes stories, likes cheese, and is a friend to dogs and pandas everywhere. @ndbag.bsky.social
Postcards From Your Dead Dad
Chris Clemens
At first you hoped the charred cards were a bid for forgiveness. But your long-dead father’s ashy handwriting, unmistakably rigid, won’t apologize for hitting Mr. Wiggles with the sedan, or forgetting the invitations for your tenth birthday party. Dad’s not looking to close old wounds. Instead: implacable criticisms, with no return address.
Fix kitchen baseboard! 14 degrees crooked.
The inside of your mouth is grungy and green.
You were difficult enough without your mother. WHERE IS SHE!?
Somewhere better, you hope. Today’s postcard depicts a lake of fire; a waving hand of crumbling ashes; the caption Wish You Were Here!
Chris Clemens lives and teaches in Toronto, surrounded by raccoons. More: linktr.ee/clemenstation
the sorting
bailey loveless
- ornate golden picture frame haunted by a ghost named Gertrude.
- man rescuing the princess (= his feminine side) from the tower (= penis).
- monkshood bulbs. WARNING: wear gloves.
- two wolves inside me. they want to kiss.
- black lipstick.
- three boxes of love letters—unsent.
↑
things to keep
—
things to lose
↓
- homes with white walls and green lawns.
- panopticons.
- my harry potter book and merch collection.
- 1700 phone number.
- iron giants.
- fathers who are duped into selling their daughters to the devil.
unsorted →→ facebook profiles of the deceased, honesty no one wants to hear, a promise ring for a promise that was never fulfilled.
bailey loveless haunts a far forest ledge and collects ghosts along the Washington coastline. IG:@bailey.loveless
This month...
Contributions from...
A.J. McCrae, Alethea Paul, Andrew Loria, Bailey Loveless, Barb DeMoney, Brett Abrahamsen, Chris Clemens, Cristina Cabrera, E. Florian Gludovacz, E.J. LeRoy, Elle Burnett, Floyd Largent, Hazel Pearson, Imrak Eriksson, Jason Ryberg, Karl El-Koura, Kat Hausler, Kelley Tai, Lisa Timpf, M.D. Berry, Mackie P. Notte, Michael Smith, Nicholas De Marino, R.J. Butler, Sascha Reinhard, Savannah S. Miller, Steven Van Der Heyden, Stuart Docherty, Tamara Brereton-Karabetsos, Tatiana Shokhan
Cover art
featuring photograph by Jubéo Hernandez