story
Please, Cheese Me, Whoa Yeah
Lee Hammerschmidt
“Man,” Detective Garnish said, looking at the encrusted cheese covered face of shady real estate tycoon Monte Rayjac. “All he needs is some marinara.”
“Add bread and salad,” Detective Galangal, Garnish’s new partner said, “and you’ve got a full meal.”
Both men chuckled.
“So, Doc,” Garnish said. “What happened?”
“Well,” Dr. Humphrey Dowdy, medical examiner exemplar said. “He was restrained and the melted cheese concoction was poured over his face, filling his mouth and nostrils, cutting off his breathing. He died of suffocation.”
“He couldn’t just spit it out and blow his nose?” Garnish asked.
“No,” Humphrey said. “Fried mozzarella sticks.”
Lee Hammerschmidt is a Visual Artist/Writer/Troubadour. He’s authored 10 collections of short stories and illustrations.
Space
E. FLORIAN GLUDOVACZ
They say that in space nobody can hear you scream. The endless void and its hostile vacuum are not welcoming to human life. I check my helmet a final time and press the button that engages the air lock. I peer through the porthole, gazing at the cold blackness and the brilliant shining stars. There is no twinkle to them without an atmosphere to refract the light.
The lock cycle completes depressurisation and the door slides back. I step outside and float in a lazy spin. I joyously yell me lungs out, because in space, nobody can hear me scream.
Florian writes long and short stories, likes cheese, and is a friend to dogs and pandas everywhere. @ndbag.bsky.social