Banana Phones Are the Smartest Phones

Hello, I’m not at home
Please leave a message
With the banana phone

What’s that you say?
No answering machine
Good, now go away

You see, I’ve cut all obnoxious ties
To asinine jokes, doomscrolling,
Petty political stunts, and lies

Until I replaced my smartphone
I had no idea how much time could fly
Now I do, thanks to my banana phone

Smooth yellow crescent on my wall
With no irritating texts, pings, or calls
You’re the least annoying phone of all

So, if my number you cannot reach
That’s just too bad
Tell it to the banana—beep!

E.J. LeRoy is a Pushcart Prize-nominated writer with a forthcoming mpreg novella. Curious? Visit http://ejleroy.weebly.com.